Talking About Daydreaming

All our lives we are told to focus, concentrate and stay on the task, i.e. avoid daydreaming. This is definitely a good advice and, those who follow it, probably feel they are very responsible and even successful people. And perhaps they are.

However, staying 'nodding off' throughout the working day or at school is, if not impossible, a very difficult task to achieve. Our brains need a bit of a break and the 'daydreamingis one of the mechanisms it uses. While it is true that we can ignore and dismiss certain thoughts, in the long run this can create internal pressures that generate stress and anxiety, which in turn have an impact on our overall wellbeing.

What are daydreams and what is their role?

In short, it is a integral aspect of our mental process. In fact, a very healthy one as it helps us relax and stimulates our creativity. These take the form of mental images that we use to 'escape' from certain situations, for example, to cope with a frustrating or painful experience.

It is a 'tool' that our brain makes available to us, which allows us to take a few minutes of 'rest' away (mentally) from the task at hand. This process helps us to refresh ourselves, regain our energy and be more efficient in refocusing on our goal.

Its function is to help us construct 'mental maps' in which we can, in a healthy way, visualise those situations that occurred in the past, that are occurring in the present and/or that we believe may arise in the future.

It is worth mentioning the fact that this is something which it happens to all of us, whether we like it or not. There is no specific time of day or place for it to occur. Thoughts continually come and go in our minds, and there is nothing we can do about it. In the process, we tend to seek out, and often discover, new inner resources that make us feel good about ourselves, increasing or positively reinforcing levels of self-esteem.

How does 'daydreaming' help us?

In some cases, it helps us exploring situations with the advantage that can do so without feeling limited by the need to set boundaries. In other words, we allow ourselves to give free reins to our imagination, to see things from different perspectives and to play with alternative scenarios and outcomes. It is like having a self-to-self conversation.

This process can help us to better understand situations that have happened to us in the past, question our current circumstances in order to view them from a different and perhaps more effective angle. It also gives us the possibility of thinking ahead. This will enable us to anticipate how to manage and implement plans that are best suited to us.

Several studies on the subject indicate that when people daydream and imagine possible (and plausible) scenarios for the future, it makes them feel more cheerful and positive because this 'activity' provides them with the motivation to innovate and find opportunities for advancement, giving the benefit of the doubt to that classic saying 'what the mind can imagine, the body can conquer'.

Can it help with other aspects of my life?

Yes, indeed. It has been shown that daydreaming can increase productivity. As we let our minds wander, we open up space to imagine and create, to challenge and/or explore situations from different points of view, all of which contributes to finding the best course of action to achieve our goals. The fact that we 'have to live' with this 'intrusive mechanism' is by no means a bad or harmful thing as it very often provides the key to inspire us in handling and solving problems.

The happiness and can-do attitude brought about by daydreaming has the power to relieve stress and also help us physically. Nowadays, we tend to look at the human being as a complex interaction between mind, body and soul. In general, if there is a positive mental daydreaming manattitude the body is better prepared to deal with physical distress. On the other hand, if there is a negative attitude, both mind and body are more exposed to external influences.

Is daydreaming a good or a bad thing?

Like everything in life, there are two sides to a coin. On the one hand, if our daydreaming is about needs and wants we believe will help us taking a step forward, say in improving our relationships, career advancement, refocusing our activities or simply setting us off to a fresh start, then the process is a positive one. Whether the dreams materialize or not is a different story, but at least you will most likely have enjoyed the ‘ride’.

On the contrary, if we start and get stuck visualizing situations or scenarios where most of what we ‘see’ relates to rage, aggression, grudge and revenge, even if not extreme, then we need to pay close attention to this as it may well be a warning sign. These repeated negative thoughts and elaboration of the same are not healthy inasmuch as they can increase stress levels, weaken our ability to contain ourselves and lose perspective.

Eventually, this mechanism can become a serious problem if it becomes an obsession, as it begins to interfere with a person's daily functioning. Such a situation is usually related to the development of a 'mental condition' which, if not treated in time, could have a negative impact on interpersonal relationships at home and/or at work, with friends and/or other loved ones. Such a condition, in this context, does not necessarily mean that it is serious as it may well be temporary as a person is going through a difficult period in their life. Appropriate professional support together with the people's motivation and effort to work through and overcome the problems, contribute to the fact that this situation can be dealt with in a positive way and in a 'reasonable' period of time.

Daydreaming' or not...... that's the question

One of the most wonderful things that can happen to us, as human beings, is the ability to think and, perhaps, build in our minds a ‘little earthly paradise’ that provides hope.

The best case scenario would be that all, or most of the things we work out in our minds and the actions we take in relation to them, come to a successful conclusion. On the other hand, if most of the 'What am I going to...', 'How am I going to ....?' and 'What if...' do not work in practice, it could be considered a failure. But it is not. Hope must always be present and we must not lose it. The fact that things don't work out on the first try can be a good opportunity to learn from that experience and, most likely, incorporate what we learnt from it into the next 'journey' that daydreaming provides.

So, YES, do take your daydreaming process as a means to free yourself from some stress (thinking about positive things), and gather the necessary energy to motivate yourself to fulfill the task at hand the best you can.

 

If you are facing challenges in enhancing and navigating through relationships, consider reaching out to me for individual therapy. Together, we can develop the necessary skills to improve your self-esteem.